Monday, October 18, 2010

How do I know if it's the spirit or just me?

October 4, 2010
I really can’t even believe all that is going on back home with everybody getting married; I’m so not a part of it that it almost sounds like a fairy tale. Good luck with it all. Don't forget pictures.

One of the questions I’ve had throughout my whole mission has been "how do I know if it's the spirit or just me" there are so many promises throughout the scriptures regarding the spirit leading out steps, but I’ve always felt like I wasn't sure. This has been my focus for the last forever and I feel like I’m finally figuring out how the spirit works with me. It’s almost indescribable the feelings: they are so small and soft and yet so powerful. Just last night Elder Shipley and I were out inviting when elder Shipley turned down a road and then stopped then turned to me and said "should we go down this road'? I then responded by saying "do you FEEL like we should?" we decided it wasn't the road we were supposed to go down so we continued to walk. Then we walked down another road and I just knew we needed to go down it. On that road we got two return appointments with two people. Elder Shipley then turned to me and said "how do you know..." we then had a great discussion on how the spirit leads us in teaching and in finding. The rest of that night we were focused on finding with the spirit and we found more people that night then we had all week. It’s amazing how big of a hand the Lord plays in this work. I just wish I was able to follow Him better. I still get promptings that I don't follow and it drives me crazy every time I decide I’m so nervous or lazy to do something, sometimes I feel like Nephi when he talks about being tied down by his sins and weaknesses. I feel like the past three months have been the greatest months of my mission and I’ve finally learned how to follow when God calls, I love this work so much I’ve never understood life so much or what life is all about. It’s something I can't explain and I probably don't make any sense but hey, I gave it a shot.

I'm finally getting to that point when I’ll probably be moving really soon. It's a bitter-sweet feeling knowing I’m leaving so many people I love, but also knowing God is sending me somewhere else to help Him do His work. The fact is we have a few people who are so close to baptism and I hope so badly I get to see them walk down into the font. As of now we have a lady named Phan planning on getting baptized on the 24 and then we have a family shortly after that (Wip and Rad), and then the father of another family (Tee). This area is doing so well. It’s such a Blessing having Elder Shipley because of the hard worker he is, and his willingness to give it all to the work. I’m beginning to be hit with the realization that I don't have a ton of time left which just makes me want to do everything that much better and work that much harder, I really hope I don't kill Elder Shipley with how hard we work.

Sorry this is short, school is out and every little kid in Thailand is on a computer which leaves me and Elder Shipley going all over the place trying to find two computers next to each other, which h leaves us with not much time.

I love you

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